delicia

What am I supposed to do when...?

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 08:35:56 GMT

When Parenting Leaves You Asking: What Am I Supposed to Do When…?

Hello… it’s been a bit of a break since I last wrote.

I’ve been intending to share regular reflections here on the blog as a way to offer a tool, a little inspiration, or a reminder for the parents and caregivers who follow my work and who have supported my book. I’ve also been trying to stay connected with my readers along the way. And if anyone is like me, sometimes we need a reminder to actually read the book we bought, because we bought it for a reason and there’s often a message in it that could be exactly what we need to hear.

The truth is, I was having a really hard time with my sense of self-worth.

I had received some unexpected and disappointing news that brought up a lot of past grief for me. Grief I didn’t know still needed processing. I collapsed under the weight of it all and found myself sleepwalking through my life, feeling very sad and sorry for myself, and very alone.

On top of that, understanding my personality traits through exploring the enneagram helped me see that I was stuck in some unhealthy patterns.

For an enneagram 7, that can look very much like avoiding painful and uncomfortable feelings by distracting myself with fun things.

So what did I do that was so much fun it helped me block out the pain?

“Grief seems to create losses within us that reach beyond our awareness -

we feel as if we're missing something that was invisible and unknown to us while we had it, but is now painfully gone.”
— Brené Brown, Rising Strong

So what did I do that was so much fun it helped me block out the pain?

How I Danced Through the Pain

I performed on my former island home at the biggest and best event of island life, Dangardigras.

I was part of an unsynchronised fish swim team, and later in the evening I dressed up as Sebastian the crab and performed “Under the Sea”

with Ariel and Flounder.

It was SO much fun. It brought joy and laughter into my life. But most importantly, it gave me a sense of community and belonging.

And that is what I was truly grieving.

I hadn’t allowed myself to grieve the loss of that community since selling my Montessori school and immigrating to Australia almost four years ago.

So here I am, sharing my reality with you and opening a doorway for you to enter with me if you will.

“You can be both healing from your past and hopeful for your future -

your heart is allowed to hold grief and joy in the same breath,

learning to dance between pain and possibility.”
— Balt Rodriguez

What am I supposed to do when...?

In Chapter 9 of my book, The Parenthood Puzzle, I explore discipline through the Puzzle Pieces of PEACE.

Recently I was reminded just how powerful this framework can be when I experienced the PEACE Process show up in my parenting with my teenage son.

In the same week, I also taught this framework to a class of parents training to become parent coaches. There were 20 people in that room preparing to go out into their communities and offer this reframe on discipline to more parents and caregivers.

This matters.

Because if we are going to raise children who become peacemakers and peacekeepers in the future, we need new ways of understanding discipline and responding to challenging behaviours.

Our social constructs, no matter where you are in the world, have too many parents asking the same question:

What am I supposed to do when…?

Parents search through parenting books.
They listen to experts.
They consult therapists and coaches.
They meet with teachers and principals.

All trying to find the answer.

I know this because I am one of those parents.

I am a mum who has asked that question and searched for expert advice to tell me what to do and what to say because I had no clue and no confidence in my own understanding.

Today I’m a parent coach and a published author. After many years of practicing, teaching, and training the 12 Week Transformational Parenting Program, I still ask the question.

But now I seek the answer within myself.

That doesn’t mean I don’t turn to trusted friends or mentors. I still reach out to my own parent coach. I still refer to my favourite books on child development, neuroscience, nervous system science, communication, and emotional intelligence.

Sometimes we need a wider perspective because we know our own viewpoint can be narrow.

But the difference now is that I take what I learn and measure it against my own values.

Against who my child is.
Against what I know about their unique needs.
Against my own capacity and resources.

Because it is easy to give advice.

It is much harder to understand another person’s internal experience.

Over the past few weeks I have found myself asking this same question again and again.

The Questions That Kept Me Awake

What am I supposed to do when I doubt my own worth?
What am I supposed to do when I am paralysed by uncertainty and fear?
What am I supposed to do when I don’t feel like doing anything because I don’t see the value in it?
What am I supposed to do when I find out that my child has kept secrets from me?
What am I supposed to do when my child tells me he is in trouble?
What am I supposed to do when I can barely keep myself regulated and my child needs to borrow my calm and rely on my presence?

My list of What am I supposed to do when…? questions could go on for another page.

But I hope you get the sense of my humanity in these questions.

Because the truth is that parenting, and being human, is not about always having the answers.

Sometimes it’s about being willing to sit with the question.

And from this honest place, I want to invite you to share some of your own What am I supposed to do when…? moments.

I would love to start a series that explores these questions. Not to give perfect answers, but to create a space where parents can feel seen, heard, understood, empathised with and encouraged.

If you feel open to sharing one of your questions, I would love to hear from you.

Reply with your question/questions - I'm genuinely curious to hear them.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer each other as parents is not advice.

It is the reminder that we are not alone.

If you’ve found yourself asking questions like these in your own parenting journey, you might find some helpful perspectives in my book,

The Parenthood Puzzle. In it, I explore frameworks and tools, including the Puzzle Pieces of PEACE, to help parents navigate challenging moments with clarity, confidence, and compassion.

It’s a companion for those times when you’re asking, What am I supposed to do when…?

The Work Works When You Work It

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 02:57:56 GMT

The Power of Doing the Work: From Knowledge to Embodied Understanding

I’ve just wrapped up a 12-week transformational parenting program with a courageous group of parents and caregivers. Hearing their reflections at the end of our time together reaffirmed one simple truth: the work works when you work it.

Every single one of them came in with honesty, vulnerability, and a willingness to learn. They stepped into a space that invited education, reflection, exploration, and experimentation. And because they showed up fully, they grew -
as people,
as parents,
and as advocates for safety, connection, and communication that truly helps and heals.

It is an honour to witness these transformations, both big and small. Parents discovering new ways to connect. Caregivers breaking generational patterns. Families learning how to communicate in ways that nurture rather than wound.

These aren’t just skills, they are life-changing shifts that ripple through homes, relationships, and future generations.

“Transformation is not a future event. It' is a present activity.”
— Jillian Michaels

A Common Theme: Self-Advocacy

Every group I work with seems to run a theme, something that connects them in their growth journeys. For this group, the theme was self-advocacy.

So many of the women who joined had been conditioned to believe their role was to keep the peace in their homes, sacrificing or martyring themselves for the wellbeing of their husbands and children. Over time, they learned to suppress their own needs, deny their feelings, and silence their emotional world.

But across these 12 weeks, something shifted. They began to see the truth: all feelings are welcome and valid.

They started to implement the emotional intelligence lessons into their families, not only learning how to support their children through big feelings, but also allowing themselves to express their own emotions. No longer pretending to be “fine,” they began modeling what it means to be fully human. Their children now see a parent who feels, who expresses, and who takes responsibility for their emotions in healthy, connected ways.

Almost every student shared the same realization: they entered the program with an intellectual knowing, but they’re leaving with an embodied understanding.

They walk away with a new confidence, trusting what feels right for themselves and for their families.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do.”
— Brené Brown

Why This Work Matters

This 12-week program isn’t “extra.” It isn’t something nice to do when you have time.
It is the foundational education every parent and caregiver needs:

For those considering parenthood, it provides the essential knowledge and tools to begin the journey prepared and resourced.
For those already raising children, it fills in the gaps left by a world that doesn’t hand us a manual for parenting.

Parenting is the most important role we’ll ever have. And yet, most of us were never taught how to do it in ways that build resilience, safety, and connection. That’s what this program offers, guidance, support, and a space for honest growth.

“To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.”
— Barbara Johnson

The Work I'm Called to Do

As a Master Trainer for The Jai Institute for Parenting, I have the privilege of guiding groups of 10–16 people at a time through our 24-week transformational parenting program. I love the work I do, the people I get to meet, and the influence I have on parents who will go on to touch the lives of children I may never meet.

And yet, I hold every single one of those children in my heart.

Because when a parent learns to heal, grow, and connect, the ripple effect is immeasurable. This is how generational patterns shift. This is how healthier, safer, more connected families are created.

I believe in this work because I’ve seen it over and over again: when you do the work, it works.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If this resonates with you, I invite you to explore more about the Jai Institute for Parenting and the transformational work we do.

And if you’re ready to step into your own growth, softening unhelpful patterns, shifting old habits, and building deeper connection with your children, book a discovery call with me.

I’d be honoured to guide you in the right direction and help you uncover the tools, understanding, and confidence you need to create a parenting journey that truly nurtures both you and your family.

The Way a Baby Listens: A Lesson in Presence for Parents

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 02:29:32 GMT

Listen Like a Baby: Rediscovering Connection Through Presence

I want my child to feel me delighting in their presence - at least once a day.

There's so much we can learn about true, active listening - not from books or courses - but from babies.

Their presence, their gaze, their curiosity - it's all a form of deep, attuned listening.

What Babies Teach Us About Listening

The way a baby watches you when you're doing something is a pure, instinctual act of listening intently. They aren't distracted or multitasking. They're fully present - locked into your face, your voice, your movements.

Babies need to see you to understand, to feel safe, to feel connected.

They don't compare. They don't judge. They don't interrupt.

Not because they've mastered mindfulness, but because they're wired for connection - they receive the world through their senses, moment by moment.

Their listening is expressed through presence.

Through wide-open eyes and still bodies.

They're saying with their whole being:

"I'm here. I'm with you. I'm learning who you are."

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
— Ralph G. Nichols

Listening from the Heart

If we can slow ourselves down enough, we can listen this way too.

By settling into our heart space - into a place of love and presence - we can listen with curiosity and empathy. Not with urgency or analysis, but with the simple intention to create safety in our conversation.

You don't have to get it perfect.

You don't have to respond to every word.

You just have to see the moment - and when you have the capacity - lean in.

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”
— Mark Nepo

A Personal Reminder

Sharing pictures of both my sons as babies recently brough back that feeling - the one many parents describe when they first meet their baby:

"You are my world. You don't need to do anything for me to love you."

That feeling is the listening compass I lean into.

Each day, i hope a quiet intention:

I want my children to feel me delighting in their presence - at least once a day.

It's not about listening to my children, all the time, all at once. That's not possible or sustainable.

Instead, it's about noticing and taking the small moments.

The bids for connection.

And choosing to lean in whenever and wherever I can.

You Can Do it Too

This week, why not try to capture and savour the tiny moments?

You can:

- Listen to their funny sayings.

- Listen to the way they mispronounce a word.

- Delight in the intensity with which they tell a story.

- Delight in the look on their face when they're proud to share something.

Let yourself listen and be delighted in them. Let them feel your eyes, your smile, your presence - your listening.

Active Listening Can Be Playful

The practice of Active Listening doesn't have to feel heavy or technical. It can actually be fun - if we choose to see it as an opportunity for playful connection.

It's really just a practice in presence.

You are learning to listen to your child, and maybe more importantly, to yourself - to know when you have the capacity to lean in, and when you need to pause.

And that's enough.

For Now...

We'll look at Reflection in another blog.

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force... When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
— Brenda Ueland

Halfway There: Proofs, Procrastination, and the Parenthood Puzzle

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 11:55:05 GMT

I'm halfway through the publishing journey of The Parenthood Puzzle, and let me tell you - it's a wild dance between joy and deadlines.

I missed publishing the August book update, and here I am, two days late with September’s. But before I pull an all-nighter to reach my next publishing deadline, I wanted to pause and share the truth of where I’m at with all of you - my encouragers, supporters, friends, and dare I even say… fans.

So, where am I in the publishing journey of The Parenthood Puzzle?
I’ve created a little infographic that shows all the steps along the way, and I’m officially at the halfway mark:

Puzzle Piece 3 – The Proofing Round.

There seems to be a theme emerging in this journey: focus, fun, focus, fun.

Stage 2 (Fun): Working with my book designer was pure joy - choosing icons, images, and layouts, watching my manuscript transform into something that looked like a book! Seeing chapter headings and page numbers appear on the screen was fun with a capital F.

Stage 3 (Focus): Once the layout was signed off, the focus returned. And let me tell you, focus often comes with its partners: procrastination, distraction, and creative avoidance. Suddenly cleaning, nature walks, painting, and dancing all feel urgent. But eventually, crunch time arrives, and here I am - planning another late night with a looming deadline.

“A perfect method for adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large”
— Alyce Coryn-Selby

If I could give you one piece of advice from my publishing experience so far, it would be this: don’t do the drama.

As I sit down to read my book for what feels like the hundredth time, I want you to know this: every page is coming to you wrapped in hours of dedication, perseverance (and procrastination), late nights, self-motivation, and all my heart.

I’ve even printed the book and kept it on my bedside table, as if it’s just another book I’m reading - because I need it to feel real.

And it’s becoming real.

Thank you for your support, your curiosity, and your interest.

Stay with me on this journey, and then please, celebrate with me once this book baby is finally birthed.

I am truly excited to share it with you.

With a grateful heart,
Delicia

Book Progress Update - Month Two

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Sun, 06 Jul 2025 13:05:37 GMT

Two months into the publishing journey, and this book baby is starting to feel more real with every page I read aloud.

It's been another month, which means I'm officially two months into the publishing journey with The Parenthood Puzzle. The first round of edits has come back from my editor, and I'm happy to report she really enjoyed reading the manuscript. Her feedback was 100% positive, which is very encouraging indeed.

The current hurdle? Reading the whole thing out loud (as instructed by Viv and Julie - my publishing team) before sending it back for a final edit... without my inner critic constantly whispering, "Just rewrite the whole thing!" Oh, the work of accepting that what I've written is good enough. That's the real inner struggle.

I've been reminding myself of Brené Brown's words from her book The Gifts of Imperfection (which, thankfully I packed and unpacked in the move, so it's been right in front of me the whole time - if that ain't a sign!)

“Healthy striving is self-focused: 'How can I improve?' Perfectionism is other-focused: 'What will they think?'”
— Brené Brown

It's such a grounding truth. I have an unhealthy pattern of sliding into perfectionism when I'm afraid, especially when the fear is about being seen and misunderstood. This quote helps me stay connected to the purpose of this book, which I am wholly committed to. And already, just naming that, I feel better.

In a brave moment, after sitting with my manuscript for a few days, I shared it with my husband, my mentor, and the CEO of the Jai Institute for Parenting, asking each of them for their honest feedback. It feels both terrifying and exciting to let it be seen.

Amidst nurturing this growing book baby, which I've joked is in its first trimester, if I were pregnant with it, we've also made a big life move. After three years on our magical little island, we've relocated to the mainland. It's felt a bot like immigrating to be honest.

Packing up our home and getting everything off the island was no small feat. We had to hire a barge to ferry a truck across the river, load it up, then return it, all in the middle of a cyclone bomb. It was one of those moments where you just stand there, jaw dropped , in awe of how wildly beautiful and crazy our lives are.

We've now spent a week settling into our new home, and I've officially run out of excuses to procrastinate. The manuscript is due back to the editor by the end of this week. So I'll be pacing myself with kindness, offering plenty of grace, and feeding my inner critic a steady stream of cake so it leaves me in peace and far away from the plague of perfectionism, to trust my words and stay on my path.

�� Thank you so much to those who've recently purchased the book! It's still available at the discounted presale price until it goes to print, so feel free to share with your friends and help support this first-time author.

With a grateful heart,
Delicia

Behind the Scenes of Becoming an Author

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Fri, 06 Jun 2025 02:12:37 GMT

The Parenthood Puzzle Book Update. One month in... and so much has shifted.

Exactly one month ago, I announced that I was writing a book.

I did it during a writing retreat with 30 other aspiring authors, and honestly, I only announced it because it was a requirement of the retreat.

That day, I was full of doubt. I needed a pep talk from the mentor, I felt sick to my stomach, I wanted to cry, and I didn’t believe in myself enough to share this dream publicly. Why? Because I’d tried before. I have a half-written manuscript that’s moved with us from house to house, a physical reminder of a dream I hadn't yet fulfilled.

Well, I’ve finally let that manuscript go, literally shredded it.
I’ve released the version of me who was writing a book for parents from the perspective of a teacher. That book was going to be about what we, as educators, wished parents knew, a guide to help bridge the gap between school and home, to give children the consistency and respect they need to thrive.

That was my dream back when I owned a Montessori school, ran a team of eight staff, taught a preschool class, guided the toddler team, and raised two young boys at home.

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
— Nelson Mandela

But over the past five years, something has shifted. I’ve grown.

My vision has evolved, not away from that dream, but deeper into it. Today, I write not just as a teacher or school founder, but as a parent coach and parent coach trainer . I’ve lived and breathed this work through Go Beyond Parenthood and my work with the Jai Institute for Parenting. I have more to share, more that I believe in, and it's still rooted in love for children and wholehearted support for parents.

And now, that dream is becoming reality.

My manuscript is officially in the first phase of editing , a two-week process. After that, I’ll receive the first round of edits, and yes, I’m fully expecting to see a big red comment that says, “Cut back your words!” ��
And you know what? That’s okay.

I’ve poured so much thought and care into this manuscript, reflecting deeply on what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, who I was writing for, and what I hoped they’d feel when they turned the final page. Writing this book took me on an unexpected personal journey, revisiting parts of my own parenthood story and discovering new layers of clarity, compassion, and purpose.

So, this update is mostly one of gratitude :

To the 48Hour Author team , whose incredible support has guided me from the very first (free!) seminar, the one where I finally dared to believe I could be a published author, to the preparation and structure that helped me get organised, to the retreat itself that brought my book to life, and now to the post-retreat accountability that’s carried me into editing mode.

To my husband , who actually signed me up for that free seminar because he knew this was my dream. He believed in it, and in me, even when I was struggling to. He has always, and still does, support everything I share with him. I love you.

To my boys , who understood why Mum was always on her laptop, why she couldn’t get up in the mornings to make lunches, because she’d been writing until 1am, and why she needed that month to really write. Thank you for the cups of tea delivered to the office, the coffees bought with your own pocket money, and the chocolate slabs you chose to share with me. You made this possible in the most loving, everyday ways.

I’m counting down to my book launch, imagining the sense of accomplishment it will bring me, and the gift of empowerment I hope it will be for every person who reads it. My dream is not just to publish a book, but to offer a heartfelt invitation for reflection, growth, and connection to every parent who chooses to walk this journey with me.

�� To every single person who has pre-purchased my book, thank you.

�� And if you haven’t seen it yet, I now have an official landing page for my book!
Please check it out, share it with others , and if you haven’t already purchased your copy, grab it now while it’s still at the special pre-launch price . Your support means the world to me.

I love you. I truly mean that.

With a full heart,
Delicia

New Year and Your Nervous System

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Sat, 18 Jan 2025 03:26:57 GMT

Do you want to feel like a pro at parenting, in the real and everyday of life?

He llo there! Happy 2025.

Let’s be honest: A new year doesn't make parenting any less of the rollercoaster ride that it is. Some days, it’s smooth sailing — happy children, you feeling all calm and connected. Other days? Well, let’s just be real, it's a ship lost at sea and everyone's in a panic about something. No matter the day you're having, there’s something that can make a huge difference and give you back a sense of control: understanding your nervous system.

If you're thinking, “Wait, what’s my nervous system got to do with parenting?” — trust me! Your nervous system plays a big role in how you respond to stress, how you react to your children (and the world around you), and how you can keep your cool when things get... well, a little wild.

I’ve wrote haiku that sums up your nervous system perfectly:

Scanning for safety,
Lighthouse shines when danger calls,
Anchor in the body.

A haiku aims to capture the essence of something much more complicated, so let’s break this down to understand why the nervous system matters so much in our day-to-day parenting lives.

Scanning for Safety: The Nervous System's First Job

Your nervous system is designed to scan the environment for signs of safety and danger. It's like an internal radar that constantly assesses whether you're in a safe or threatening situation. It’s constantly asking: Is everything okay? Is there danger? Should I react? And when something feels off, your body reacts. This is part of our natural survival instinct, rooted deep within our biology, and it's always active — whether we're consciously aware of it or not.

When things feel overwhelming — a tantrum in the grocery store, a chaotic morning trying to get everyone out the door, or a difficult conversation with your partner — your body’s nervous system is likely on high alert. The heart races, your muscles tense, your thoughts become frantic. This is your body’s way of scanning for danger, triggering the “fight-or-flight” response.

Here’s the thing: sometimes, that reaction doesn’t even match the situation. You might feel your body reacting as if there’s a real, physical threat (like a bear chasing you!) when really, it’s just a stressful moment. The key is understanding these responses so you don’t get swept away in the emotional flood.

"The nervous system and the automatic machine are fundamentally alike in that they are devices, which make decisions on the basis of decisions they made in the past.." - Norbert Wiener

The Lighthouse: A Signal for Danger

Your nervous system is like a lighthouse, always keeping watch for danger. When something feels unsafe (even if it’s just a stressful moment), your body sends out alarms: faster heartbeat, shallow breathing, tense muscles.

These signals are like bright warning lights telling you, “Hey, pay attention! Something’s going on!”

The trick is to remember: not every signal is a real danger. Sometimes, it’s just your body’s way of reacting to stress. But by tuning in, you can figure out when to take a deep breath and when to act, instead of letting panic take over.

"Is the beam from a lighthouse affected by howling wind and rain? It remains perfectly steadfast and unaffected by the storm. Your true self is like that. Nothing can ever harm you once you are consciously aware that it is so." - Vernon Howard

Anchor in the Body: Finding Calm in the Chaos

When life feels like it’s spinning out of control, it’s time to “anchor” yourself. Imagine you’re a ship in a storm and you need to drop anchor to stop from being tossed around. That anchor is your body. It’s the key to finding calm when everything around you feels chaotic.

Here are a few ways to “anchor” yourself when the storm of parenting starts to hit:

Breathe : It’s simple but powerful. Slow, deep breaths can help calm the nervous system and bring you back to the present. Try breathing in for four counts, holding for four, then exhaling for four. Repeat a few times, and you’ll notice your body relaxing.
Check-in with Your Body : Where’s the tension? Shoulders? Jaw? Belly? Take a moment to relax those muscles and breathe into them. This helps reset your nervous system and brings you back to a more peaceful state.
Ground Yourself : Feel your feet on the floor, or press your hands together. It sounds small, but physical grounding can remind you that you’re here, safe, and in control.
Mindfulness : Notice what’s around you — the smell of coffee brewing, the feel of a soft blanket, or the sound of your child’s giggle. Engaging your senses pulls you out of your head and into the present moment.

My personal favourite is Look at the sky or horizon, by turning your vision to a wide open space, you make space inside of you.

"Slow breathing is like an anchor in the midst of an emotional storm: the anchor won't make the storm go away but it will hold you steady until it passes." - Russ Harris

Listening to Your Environment's Cues

Your nervous system isn’t just picking up your internal cues — it’s also influenced by your environment. Your children pick up on your energy too, especially if they're young! So, if you’re feeling stressed, they can feel that too, and their reactions might match yours.

Here’s where it gets fun: by tuning into your environment and making little adjustments, you can help everyone (including yourself!) feel more grounded.

Create a Routine : Children love (and need) predictability. A routine signals to their nervous systems that they’re safe and know what’s coming next. And it can do the same for you! Knowing what’s ahead can help reduce stress and create smoother transitions throughout the day. Calendars, Visual planners and Checklists can be fun family projects.
Calm Spaces : Make a space in your home that’s dedicated to quiet time — a cozy reading nook, a calm corner for stretching, or a place where you can close your eyes for a minute. This physical space can help reset your nervous system when you need it most. If it's in nature even better - so step out into your garden or go to a local park.
Use Your Body to Signal Calm : If your children are revved up, get low and go slow. Use a softer voice, slower movements, and open body language. Your calm energy will help them tune into the vibe you’re setting.

"Regulation of the nervous system is an act of self-compassion that reverberates through every area of our lives." - Diane Poole Heller

Parenting from a Place of Awareness

At the end of the day, parenting is about connection. And to connect with your kids, you need to be able to connect with yourself first. By understanding how your nervous system works — and how it reacts to stress — you can take control of those moments when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated.

Remember, your nervous system is always scanning for safety. So when you feel the storm brewing, take a moment to check in with your body. Breathe. Ground yourself. Tune into the cues around you. And remember, it’s okay if things don’t always feel “perfect.”

Parenting is a journey, and you’ve got the tools to find calm amidst the chaos.

You’re doing great.

Keep scanning for safety, listening to your body, and anchoring yourself in the present. Your nervous system will thank you — and so will your kids. ��

"Only when we are in a calm physiological state can we convey cues of safety to another." - Stephen W. Porges

Love Languages and Loving Yourself as a Parent: A Birthday Reflection

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 10:44:50 GMT

Have you ever spent your birthday on your own? I intentionally chose to do that this year and it was bliss!

For many people, birthdays are a celebration of togetherness — a day filled with family, friends, and gifts. It’s a day where we might expect the people, we love to show us just how much we mean to them. But what happens when your celebration looks completely different?

What if the most meaningful way for you to celebrate is alone, immersed in your own company, and aligning with your own sense of joy?

This year, I celebrated my birthday on my own. And before anyone assumes that I’m lonely or that I had nobody to celebrate with, let me clarify: that couldn’t be further from the truth. I have a loving and thoughtfully romantic husband, two wonderful children, and a circle of friends who never hesitate to make me feel cherished. But this year, I decided to celebrate in a way that was deeply personal — not because I was alone, but because I wanted to honour myself in my love language: Quality Time.

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."

Oprah Winfrey

What is a Love Language?

If you’ve ever taken the Five Love Languages quiz, you know that there are five primary ways we give and receive love:

1. Words of Affirmation,

2. Acts of Service,

3. Receiving Gifts,

4. Physical Touch, and

5. Quality Time.

These love languages are often how we connect with others, but they can also be the key to understanding how we connect with ourselves.

Quality Time is my love language. Over the past 10 years, I’ve become more aware and accepting that the most meaningful way for me to feel loved — both by others and myself — is through the time I spend with them and with myself. It goes beyond just being physically present, it also involves being fully immersed and giving undivided attention to each other – which is such a gift in our digital age. Quality time cultivates deeper connections that leave me and hopefully my loved ones feeling secure in the love we have for each other.

The Overwhelming Message of Self-Care

The message of self-care is nothing new. As parents, especially mothers, we’ve heard it time and time again: “Take time for yourself,” “Fill your cup,” “You can’t pour from an empty vessel.”

While these sentiments are wise, the courage to actually practice them is often elusive. How many times have we been told to prioritise self-care, only to feel guilt or shame for doing so?

As mothers, we’re often conditioned to put the needs of our family ahead of our own. The needs of our children, our partners, and even the demands of work and daily life become the loudest voices in the room, drowning out the quieter, yet equally important call for self-love. It’s easy to forget that self-care isn’t just a luxury — it’s a necessity, especially if we want to be the best version of ourselves for the people we love.

So, this year, I decided to own my fullness — unapologetically. I chose to choose me, to honour myself with love, to bask in the joy of celebrating myself. And I did so with a deep sense of gratitude for myself and for my family who understood and supported me in this choice.

I deserve bliss, especially on my birthday, and I wasn’t going to wait for someone else to create that bliss for me.

"With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side."

Susan Weiss Berry

Curating a Day of Self-Love

On my birthday, I chose to create a day dedicated to my own needs and desires. It wasn’t about being alone or shutting myself off from my family, but about carving out intentional time for myself. I spent the morning in quiet solitude—reflecting, journaling, and simply being. I also did something I’d never done before: I wrote myself a birthday card, encouraging myself to wish big and go after my dreams in the coming year.

The most surprising thing about this day was how much it deepened my connection with my family. When I allowed myself to honour my own needs, I was more present, more open to receiving the love and affection my husband and children offered.

My husband surprised me with a family pottery class a few days before my birthday, a thoughtful gesture that combined my love for Quality Time with the joy of shared family experiences. It was a perfect blend of self-love and family love, and a reminder that both can coexist harmoniously.

Modelling Self-Love for My Children

As a parent, one of the greatest gifts I can give my children is the example of self-love. It’s not always easy to prioritise yourself when you’re constantly giving to others, but I want my children to understand that it’s okay to celebrate who you are and take time for yourself. By choosing to honour my own needs on my birthday, I was showing them that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Self-love doesn’t lessen the love we have to give to others; in fact, it expands our hearts to give more love. When we fill our own cups, we’re better able to pour into those we love. It’s a powerful lesson in how to live a balanced, joyful life.

Self-Responsibility and Self-Satisfaction

The most important lesson I learned from my birthday this year was about self-responsibility and self-satisfaction. As parents, we often feel like we have to wait for others to make us feel special or validated. But the truth is, we are the creators of our own joy. When we take ownership of our happiness and make choices that align with our own needs, we stop waiting for external validation.

My birthday was a reminder that parents are worthy of self-love—not just as caretakers, but as individuals. We have the right to create the life and the moments that bring us joy, without feeling guilty for doing so.

Basking in Post Birthday Reflections

Self-love, especially in the language that speaks to you most, is one of the most powerful acts of self-care. I didn’t need anyone else to create the magic—I was the creator. So, next time your birthday (or any day) comes around, ask yourself: How can I show love to myself in the language that feels most true to me? And remember, self-love isn’t just for the big moments. It’s about honouring your needs every day.

Your self-worth is not dependent on anyone else. So, take the time to love yourself in the way you most deeply need—and don’t wait for others to create the magic. You have the power to do it yourself.

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Howard Thurman

Discover Your Love Language

To understand yourself and your children better, try this simple and fun activity to explore everyone’s love languages:

Choose a family member —this could be your partner, child, or even yourself.
List what you think their love language is in order of priority, from 1 (most important) to 5 (least important). You can do this for each person in the family.
Once everyone has made their guesses, compare and discuss your answers . Were you right? What did you learn about how you show love to each other?
Reflect on how you can better show love to each family member in the way that resonates most with them.

This activity will help you understand your family members' needs, encourage deeper communication, and teach everyone how to express love in a way that feels most meaningful to them.

It’s a playful and insightful way to strengthen your connection and love each other more fully!

Meeting My Ego: A Surreal and Surprising Encounter

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Fri, 18 Oct 2024 07:35:37 GMT

Ever tried chatting with your ego? Make a cup of tea and join me for a delightful date that reveals more than just self-reflection.

Two Chairs, Two Voices

It all began with an invitation during a retreat to explore the duality within me. The facilitator set up two empty chairs side by side—a simple yet profound setup for a dialogue that would change my perspective. I took my seat in one and took a deep breath.

“ Who are you? ” he asked aloud.

“I am kind, compassionate, and confident,” I responded, feeling a warmth spread across my face as I heard my own voice proclaim these truths. This voice painted a picture of who I truly felt I was—a genuine reflection of my Divine self.

Then, the facilitator asked me to stand up and move to the other chair. I shifted my weight and settled into the second seat.

“And who are you?” he prompted again.

Without hesitation, my voice emerged, but it sounded different this time.

“I am indecisive, selfish, irresponsible, and spontaneous. I don’t know what I want, yet I want it all. I’m lazy and prone to procrastination. I can be cold towards others. I prefer solitude. I lack discipline. I have great ideas but let them go to waste. I start projects but don’t finish them…”

The facilitator interrupted me gently, noticing I wasn’t breathing or pausing.

“This is the voice of your ego,” he explained, helping me see the truth in my words.

As my ego took the spotlight, I felt the discomfort of the chair beneath me—a stark contrast to the soft cushion of my Divine self’s seat.

I sat in silence for a moment, processing this newfound awareness.

“My ego likes playing games with me,” I finally shared with the facilitator.

“It lets me get close to my goals or dreams and then pounces in front of me with all the doubts and insecurities it has stored.”

“So, your ego is holding the stick with the dangling carrot?” he asked.

“Yes!!!” I exclaimed, realisation flooding over me.

WOAH!!!

In that moment, I truly met my ego. I heard its voice and witnessed its trickery in my life. The understanding hit me: my ego wasn’t just a shadow lurking in the background; it was a vibrant part of my psyche, desperate for attention, validation, and perhaps even love. This surreal encounter opened the door to a deeper exploration of self, leading me on a path toward embracing both my divine essence and the extent of my ego's presence.

"The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it." Carl Jung

On My Own, but Not Really…

The journey didn’t end at the retreat. A week later, my family and I came together for reunion holiday, a time for us to reconnect in ways that we have not been able to since we immigrated to Australia. It was during these familiar and fun days of being together again that I began to notice my ego trying to take the wheel in the most mundane situations.

As we gathered to plan our daily activities, I could feel the frantic tug of my ego, eager to assert itself. “I’ve got it all planned! I’ve done the research and I know where we’re going.” it urged, attempting to dominate the conversation before it even began.

It was as if my ego was trying to live up to an expectation and reputation that it had created itself, without consulting the Divine in me.

In those moments, I took a step back and willed myself to get curious.

“Why does this matter so much?” I asked myself.

The pressure to create the perfect holiday experience wasn’t coming from my true self; it was my ego wanting to shine, to showcase how “fun” and “organised” I could be.

At dinner, the encounter continued. As my family discussed where to eat, I felt my ego rising again.

“I just read about this amazing spot!” it shouted, determined to secure a moment of validation from others. But as I tuned into that inner voice, I realised it wasn’t about the food or the location; it was about the experience itself, about being together and savouring simple pleasures.

By pausing and reflecting, I could differentiate between the desires of my ego and the genuine wishes of my heart. Instead of allowing my ego to drive our decisions, I embraced a more balanced approach.

“How about we try whatever calls to us on the main road?” I suggested, feeling lighter and more connected to my family.

These little encounters became powerful reminders of my evolving relationship with my ego. Rather than battling it, I learned to acknowledge its presence, understanding that it was still a part of me but didn’t have to be in the driver’s seat of my life.

Each decision, whether big or small, became an opportunity for me to practice a powerful pause, grounding myself in the joy of simply being, and trusting. As our holiday unfolded, I noticed more instances where my ego would rear its head. It became a game of recognition — noticing when it wanted the spotlight versus when my true self simply was present and connected.

I began to understand and then accept that this journey was about integration, about learning to coexist with my ego while prioritising the Divine in me.

"The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern." Ekhart Tolle

I See You, OK!

Another week passed, and I was still on holiday in Bali, this time on a solo retreat. My Ego and Divine were with me, of course.

It was becoming easier to distinguish between my ego and my Divine self, so I relaxed into wandering the streets of Ubud and window shopping.

But my ego wouldn’t even let me enjoy that without making its presence known.

My eye was drawn to a cute, bluish-green monster at the bottom of a staircase leading into a gallery. Curious and with time to spare, I ventured in to see what was on display.

A friendly Balinese man was sweeping the floor of a brightly lit room filled with interesting art pieces, a coffee shop, and then… The Ego Shop.

You have got to be joking!

The green monster belonged to The Ego Shop. Naturally, I had to see what they had for sale. In true egoic fashion, this shop stocked a range of random goods that made NO SENSE whatsoever: T-shirts with strange pictures or words, notebooks that were half in English and half in Indonesian, and pieces of jewellery alongside hand-sized sculptures of smiling heads. I couldn’t help but laugh, noticing how my own ego was urging me to buy something.

Ego exposed! It often makes no sense, even when it tries to present itself as legitimate or normal.

“I See You, OK!” I said, embracing the realisation that this part of me was both a friend and a foe. It served to protect me, yet it also created barriers in my relationships.

I decided to play with my ego, treating it like an old friend instead of an enemy to vanquish.

“How about we have a cup of tea?” I imagined saying.

This was no ordinary tea time; it was an opportunity for me to show my ego who was the captain of this ship.

I offered it a cup of tea, let it have its say internally, and then invited it to sit back, relax, and let me connect with my Divinity.

In this playful interchange, I found balance. I could appreciate my ego’s drive for success without letting it dictate my direction.

It became a dance of consciousness—a blend of ambition and humility, confidence and vulnerability.

What does this have to do with parenting?

I named my business Go Beyond Parenthood because my journey through parent education revealed that most of my learning transcended traditional parenting advice. It took me deep into my personal past—exploring my patterns, perspectives, pain, and potential.

The ego is born from our earliest experiences, shaped by the narratives we were told and eventually tell ourselves.

When left unchecked, it can overshadow the authentic, Divine part of us.

As parents, we carry the immense responsibility of raising securely attached children who can navigate an increasingly insecure world.

It’s all too easy to let our egos take the lead, guiding our decisions based on fear, comparison, and the need for validation.

By understanding and managing our egos, we not only foster our own growth but also create a nurturing environment for our children.

They learn from our actions and responses, absorbing lessons about self-acceptance, resilience, and emotional intelligence.

If you’re ready to explore how your own relationship with your ego impacts your parenting, I invite you to sign up for The Transformational Parenting Program with me. Together, we can uncover the patterns that shape your life and develop tools for mindful parenting. Let’s create a supportive space where you can embrace your authentic self while guiding your children to do the same.

Last sip of self-reflection

Meeting my ego was just the beginning of a deeper journey within. It taught me that self-awareness is key to growth, and that embracing every part of myself—flaws and all—was the real path to authenticity. By acknowledging my ego as a companion rather than an adversary, I’ve learned to navigate life with greater self-compassion and understanding.

Each encounter with my ego has become an opportunity for reflection, reminding me to pause and connect with my true self.

In this delicate dance, I’ve discovered the beauty of integration—learning to coexist with my ego while prioritising the Divine essence within me.

"Three things differentiate living from the soul versus living from the ego only: the ability to sense and learn new ways, the tenacity to ride a rough road, and the patience to learn deep love over time." Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The Power of Parental Intuition: Trusting Your Gut to Keep Your Children Safe

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Thu, 05 Sep 2024 04:39:07 GMT

How trusting my gut saved a blind man from getting run over.

I had a moment this week that reaffirmed my belief in the power of intuition. While sitting in my car at a red light, my attention wasn’t consumed by the text messages popping up on my phone or searching for a radio station which played better music. Instead I was fully present to everything happening outside my windscreen, and I noticed a blind man waiting to cross the road. Something in me said he may need help. When the light turned green, instead of driving forward, I waited and watched as the man began to cross. His cane led him into the the middle of the road, crossing in front of my car towards oncoming traffic. I rolled down my window, yelled for him to stop walking, and guided him back to the sidewalk. My heart raced as I thought of what could have happened if I hadn’t listened to that voice, my intuition.

Later that same day, my son was running up a parking lot ramp with his friends while waiting for their Jujitsu training session to begin . Even though there were no cars, the ramp was three stories high, and I couldn’t shake the image of one of the boys falling over the railing.

This time, my intuition urged me to act immediately. I called my son over, explained the risk as well as my discomfort , and asked him to wait i n the Dojo instead . My decision wasn’t about controlling him but about ensuring his safety and that of his friends .

These experiences reinforced a vital lesson: our presence as parents matters profoundly. It’s not about micromanaging or stifling our children but about being vigilant and responsive to the subtle cues our intuition provides. Trusting our gut can protect our children in ways we might not always be able to predict but can often deeply impact their safety.

"Intuition is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect, in my opinion." Steve Jobs

A friend shared a poignant example of this power. She was grappling with whether to send her daughter to a sleep away camp. Despite the excitement her daughter felt, my friend felt an uneasy twinge about her daughter sleeping away from home, particularly as a young girl. It was a feeling she couldn’t quite put into words but couldn’t ignore. I encouraged her to trust her intuition, she made the decision not to send her daughter to camp. She communicated her choice and her reasons openly with her daughter. This act of honouring her intuition was not only empowering for her but also demonstrated how essential it is to listen to our inner voice, even when it may disappoint our children and be a difficult choice for us to make.

The more we are present and attentive to our intuition, the stronger it becomes. With time and practice, listening to that inner voice becomes second nature. Our intuition, when nurtured, can guide us effortlessly and reliably. By trusting it and acting on it, we ensure our children’s safety and well-being, making informed decisions that resonate deeply with our parental instincts.

Tips to Strengthen Your Intuition

Tune Into Your Body: Pay close attention to physical sensations like butterflies in your stomach, tension in your shoulders or a tight jaw. These bodily signals often accompany intuitive insights. Regularly checking in with how your body feels in various situations can help you notice and trust these signals.

Example: Imagine you're at a playdate, and you suddenly feel uneasy about one of the other parents. You notice a tightness in your chest and a sense of discomfort. Instead of dismissing these feelings, you decide to stay alert and observe interactions more closely. This heightened awareness helps you notice a situation that needs your attention or prompts you to be more cautious about future interactions.

Create Quiet Time: Set aside moments of calm each day for reflection and mindfulness. Whether through meditation, deep breathing, or simply sitting quietly, this practice helps you become more in tune with your inner voice and fosters a clearer connection to your intuition.

Example: You’ve had a busy day, and you’re feeling overwhelmed by your child's upcoming sleepover. To clear your mind, you spend 10 minutes each evening in quiet meditation. This practice helps you process your worries and gain clarity. You realise that your intuition is signalling discomfort about the sleepover, prompting you to have a thoughtful conversation with your child about alternative plans.

Keep a Journal: Maintain a journal to record intuitive feelings and insights, along with the outcomes of decisions made based on them. Over time, this practice can reveal patterns and validate your intuitive experiences, helping you trust your instincts more.

Example: You start keeping a journal to track moments when your intuition guides your parenting decisions. One entry details a strong feeling to check on your child during nap time, which leads you to discover they were running a fever. By reviewing your journal, you notice patterns where following your gut consistently leads to positive outcomes, reinforcing your confidence in your intuition.

Engage in Reflective Practices: After making decisions, reflect on the results and how they align with your initial intuitive feelings. This reflection helps you understand and refine your intuition by connecting it to real-life outcomes.

Example: After deciding not to let your child attend a new after-school program based on a gut feeling, you reflect on the decision a few weeks later. You see that your intuition was right—the program’s environment wasn’t as supportive as you hoped. This reflection helps you understand how your intuition works and prepares you for similar decisions in the future.

Discuss and Share: Talk about your intuitive feelings and decisions with a supportive friend, parent coach, or fellow parent. Sharing your experiences and hearing others' perspectives can provide validation and insights that strengthen your trust in your intuition.

Example: You have a nagging feeling that your child’s new friend might not be a good influence. You discuss this feeling with a trusted friend who is also a parent. Through the conversation, you gain new insights and perspectives that help you address your concerns more effectively with your child and support them in making safe choices.

"The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, the happier you become." Giselle Bundchen

Start today by setting aside a few moments each day for presence with your body. You can do this anywhere and at intervals throughout your day to day activities. Choose to be present where you are and notice what rises to the surface. Tune into your feelings and observe how they guide your decisions. Over time, nurturing this practice will help strengthen your intuitive skills and enhance your ability to protect and support your child effectively.

I'll leave you with my favourite and most empowering mantra:

All You Need IS Within You Now.

"But Mum" sounds like " BUM: Turning Parenting Frustrations into Playful Moments

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Thu, 29 Aug 2024 07:23:36 GMT

A playful twist on words that has transformed my tension into getting their attention.

As a parent, you’ve probably heard the dreaded “But Mum” more times than you can count.

It’s the universal sign of pre-teen resistance—a knee-jerk reaction to instructions or requests that seems to instantly trigger our inner lawyer, defender, or, let’s face it, sometimes even our inner tyrant. I used to find myself participating in tug-of-war arguments with my sons whenever they’d toss this phrase my way. But recently, I discovered a new approach that has completely transformed these interactions.

The Power of Playfulness

One day, I decided to experiment with a different response. Instead of getting caught in the game of tug-o-war —proving my point, defending, justifying, and lecturing—I chose to drop the rope. The next time I heard “But Mum,” I repeated it in my mind and then out loud with different accents. I landed on an English accent that, when said slowly and with a silent "t," amusingly sounded like “BUM.”

When my son said “But Mum” while I was asking him to help with grocery bags, I replied with, “Did you just say BUM to me?”

He froze momentarily, then realised I was joking.

The tension dissolved into laughter, and the whole situation turned into a playful moment rather than a battleground. Helping with the bags didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.
It’s a simple trick, but it worked wonders for us.

I recently shared this hack with another parent who was struggling with the same issue, and she loved it. It’s important to remember, though, that while playfulness can be a powerful tool, it’s not always appropriate. Sometimes children’s resistance is their way of asserting their independence, or because they're genuinely upset. Sometimes their reasons may be valid. It’s crucial to balance playfulness with empathy and a willingness to listen and understand.

Playful Parenting Tips

Embrace the Unexpected: Turn tense moments into funny ones. Make silly faces, use funny voices, or turn everyday tasks into games. A little humour can make even the most mundane tasks more bearable. Unexpected playfulness can change the dynamic of conversation and make it more enjoyable.

Create Playful Routines: Inject some fun into daily rituals. Why not turn chores into a friendly competition or make bedtime a silly affair with funny songs or stories? It makes routine tasks less of a chore and more of a bonding time.

Role Reversal Fun: Let your child take charge in a playful role-reversal scenario. Let them play the “parent” and give you directions. It’s a fun way for them to see things from your perspective and shake up the routine. If homework is dragging, turn it into a game. Quiz them, race against the clock, or create challenges. Learning becomes more engaging and less of a struggle.

Acknowledge Their Feelings: Before you switch gears to playful mode, make sure to validate your child’s feelings. Acknowledge what’s bothering them and then gently introduce a fun twist to lighten the mood.

Set the Example: Model the behaviour you want to see. Show your kids that life can be fun. Approach daily challenges with humour and they’ll likely pick up on that attitude and mirror it. Show them that it's okay to find joy and laughter in the simple, everyday situations.

The Nervous System Secret about Play

Here’s a fascinating nugget that might just make you even more eager to embrace play: play actually involves a special blend of our nervous system’s states. When you engage in playful moments, your body is signaling safety and calm through the ventral vagal system. This means that when you play with your child, you’re not only making the moment more enjoyable but also communicating that you’re a safe, supportive presence. This sense of safety is crucial for building strong, trusting relationships and can make the playful interactions even more impactful.

From Frustration to Fun: You Get to Choose

Turning “But Mum” into a moment of laughter rather than frustration has been a game changer for us. It’s a simple yet effective way to use humor to ease tension and make parenting a bit more enjoyable. Sure, there are times for serious talks, but finding moments to laugh and play can make all the difference.

The Ultimate Parenting Upgrade - Play is not just for children, it's good for you too

And on a side note, every time I hear “But Mum,” I can’t help but chuckle as it reminds me of my playful accent. It’s also a little nudge to get back to the gym—so no, that’s not my bum in the picture;

I wish it were!

Parenting, after all, is about finding joy in the everyday and turning those little frustrations into fun.

So, next time you hear “But Mum,” seize the opportunity to transform it into a playful moment, and maybe give yourself a little laugh (and perhaps a reminder to hit the gym) while you're at it.

Boundaries Communicate Safety: A Guide to Confident Parenting

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Thu, 22 Aug 2024 04:37:15 GMT

Bubble bath “No” is so much softer than

a hard and sharp barbed wire “NO.”

In the complex dance of parenting, boundaries often feel like the rigid structure of a routine, but they’re better suited to the flexible and natural movement of a rhythm. Holding firm boundaries isn't about imposing harsh restrictions but rather communicating confidence and safety, which is crucial for a child’s sense of confidence in and security with you, their parent.

Boundaries Communicate Safety

Take, for example, my recent experience with my son. Lately, he’s been on a spree of asking for various items—from fast food and shoes that will make him run faster to the not yet released Diary of a Wimpy Kids book and the latest Nintendo games. Every afternoon he'll try his luck and ask for an ice cream from the local shop we drive by before parking our car.

Each day seems to bring a new request, and while it’s tempting to consent to his wishes, I’ve chosen to stand firm on a few principles: he needs to earn and save up for some things, or wait until there’s a genuine need or special occasion. These are rooted in our clearly defined family values: Patience, Value and Responsibility.

At first, this approach felt challenging. My son’s enthusiasm for new things was palpable, and it’s natural to want to indulge in his happiness. However, I knew that consistently buying items on impulse could undermine the lessons I wanted him to learn about value and patience. Starting small and building yourself into confidence with bigger boundaries is the way to go.

I’ve also been successful at managing our drink consumption—my boys often left half-finished bottles of juice or iced tea in the car, which ended up wasted. To address this, I keep a cooler bag in the trunk stocked with bulk trays of fruit juices and iced teas. When we’re out and about, I simply remind them that their drinks are waiting for them in the car, and I refrain from purchasing more at the shops.

Put The Boundary in a Sandwich

Visualising the boundaries I set as a bubble bath rather than barbed wire helps soften the impact. It’s like creating a gentle, comforting environment where my child can learn and grow, rather than imposing a strict and unyielding rule. In my parent coaching practice, we use the concept of a “boundary sandwich” to help parents maintain connection and love while setting limits. This approach ensures that boundaries are delivered with empathy and support, rather than harshness.

By holding these boundaries with confidence, I’m not just saying “no”—I’m communicating safety and consistency. My son learns that while his requests may not always be met immediately, there is a structure and reasoning behind my decisions. This, in turn, helps him feel secure and valued, knowing that his needs are considered within a framework of thoughtful guidance.

Reflect to Connect

In the end, boundaries aren’t about restriction; they’re about providing a dependable framework within which children can thrive.

Just like a bubble bath soothes and nurtures, a well-held boundary offers a sense of security and trust, essential for a child’s emotional well-being. Instead of resistance and defensiveness towards the boundary - which is the reaction to anything that is forced upon us, children can soften into understanding and accepting your confident yet reassuring reasons for your boundaries. It can even open up possibilities for creativity and collaboration.

Just remember that a bubble bath “no” is so much softer than a hard and sharp barbed wire “no.”

Cultivating Connection Culture - A Personal Story of Connection Through Dance

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Fri, 16 Aug 2024 02:38:29 GMT

"What would it take for you to initiate connection?"

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, moments of true connection often seem elusive. This week, I had a powerful reminder of how prioritising connection can transform a challenging situation into a memorable moment worthy of celebration. I’m excited to share this personal story in hopes of inspiring other parents to cultivate their own moments of connection.

A Dance to Shift the Energy

It had been one of those exhausting days. We arrived home feeling mentally and emotionally drained, a day of work and school, an hour of travel and crossing the river by boat in the rain only added to our low energy states. The boys were bickering, and we walked through the door filled with tension. We had recently purchased Just Dance for the Nintendo, but it remained unopened, waiting for its debut.

Instead of heading upstairs for a much-needed shower, I decided to change the energy in the room. I invited my angriest child to a dance-off, leaving the other to unwind in the shower. It was a spontaneous decision, but it felt right. I took it upon myself to shift the mood so we could all enjoy a more peaceful evening.

I am deeply grateful for the understanding that I have the power to influence such moments. I don’t always make the right choice, but when I do, I celebrate it. It is with gratitude for my own growth as a parent and parent coach through the Jai Institute for Parenting that I can remind myself that these moments are within our power to shape.

The dance session transformed our home’s atmosphere. The laughter and physical activity replaced frustration and anger. My boys, who had been at odds, found common ground through the rhythm of the music. They ended up playing the game together peacefully, and the evening ended on a harmonious note.

This experience highlighted an essential truth: Connection is often just a choice away.

By leaning into creativity and spontaneity, we can turn challenging situations into opportunities for reconnection.

It’s a practice that I hope will inspire others to find similar moments in their own lives.

Cultivating Connection CHALLENGE

So here’s my challenge to you for the weekend:

Cultivate a moment of connection, whether with yourself, your children, or your community.

Capture that moment and share it with me in the comments.

Let’s celebrate the power of these connections together.

Reflect to Connect

And here's my invitation for you: Start a conversation or open up your journal and see what opportunities and possibilities lie waiting for you in the space of cultivating a connection culture in your life.

What would it take for you, as the parent and leader in your family, to initiate connection with your child/ren?

Your stories and reflections could offer valuable insights and inspiration for others.

I’m looking forward to celebrating your connection moments and learning from your experiences.

Let’s build a culture of connection, one joyful moment at a time.

Say What You Need To Say: Releasing Resentments in Parent-Child Relationships.

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Thu, 08 Aug 2024 04:24:23 GMT

"Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments."

Neil Strauss captured a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of communication that profoundly affects all our relationships, particularly the parent-child dynamic. In these relationships, where expectations and unspoken resentments can run high, understanding how we communicate—and how we fail to communicate—can make all the difference. This insight is key to navigating and improving the interactions we have with our children, leading to healthier and more fulfilling connections.

Using Your Words - Communication is a Behaviour

At its core, communication is an expression of behaviour. It is one of the ways in which we express our internal or external experiences, and it reflects an attempt to meet our needs. Engaging in conversations, giving instructions, making requests are some of the ways in which we use our words in an intentional manner to express our needs, our emotions and our expectations. Recognising that communication is a behaviour, and remembering that all behaviours are our best attempts to getting our needs met, can shift the perspective on how we give, receive and perceive communication.

How Do You Say What You Need To Say?

Communication evolves as we grow, and we often learn to speak by mimicking others. Parents naturally interpret the body language of infants, as they lack verbal skills. As children start using words and forming sentences, parents must continue to interpret their communication because children are still learning how to express themselves effectively. It remains an important part of our responsibility as parents to find the meaning and understanding beneath our children's communication - especially during times of dysregulation, conflict or stress. Recognising the dynamics of power in communication can reveal how our interactions shape and influence our children's development in this area.

Communication patterns can be categorised into power patterns, each one impacting the relationship in different ways

Power Over Communication :

This sounds like a parent who uses threats, demands, punishment, criticism, sarcasm or shame in their communication with their child. This approach creates a dynamic of control and leads to fear, compliance or resistance and resentment. The forceful impact of this style of communication and it's pressure on the child can have long term effects on their self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Examples:

Punishment: “If you don't clean your room, you'll be grounded."
Sarcasm: " Nice job taking care of your belongings, as usual!'
Criticism: "Why can't you ever do anything right? You always mess things up!"
Shame: "I'm embarrassed to have you as my child when you behave like that!"
Demands: "You better finish your homework or there will be consequences!"

Power Under Communication:

Power Under Communication occurs when a parent avoids using their voice or words to address conflicts, instead resorting to shutting down, stonewalling, freezing, or self-blaming. This passive approach often stems from a belief that conflict is unsafe or overwhelming, leading to unresolved issues and a lack of connection. Such communication can leave the child with incomplete information and a fractured sense of self.

Examples:

Shutting Down: Parent becomes silent, avoids eye contact, doesn't respond to questions or attempts to discuss an issue.
Stonewalling: Parent Responds with monosyllabic answers like "Okay," "Fine," or "Sure."
Freezing: Parent is unresponsive, motionless, unable to move, stands/sits still and does nothing.
Shame: "I'm embarrassed to have you as my child when you behave like that!"
Self-Blame: "It's my fault that you don't know how to clean your room." or "I must have done something wrong to make you upset."

Power WITH Communication:

This is where we want to be in our communication! Power WITH communication focuses on collaboration, empathy, and support. It's foundation is on making clear statements or requests while offering the scaffolding of our proximity and support. The goal is to work together, ensuring that the child not only hears but also understands and successfully accomplishes what is asked of them. This proactive and positive approach to communication creates an environment that builds the child's confidence strengthens the parent-child relationship, develops independence, solving skills, motivation, communication skills and a healthy self-esteem.

Examples:

"I need you to cook dinner tonight. I know that it seems like there's a lot to do, I'll be here to help you if you need it."
"I need you to clean your room today. if you feel overwhelmed, let me know and we can tackle it together."
"Can you finish your homework by 6pm? If you get stuck on any problems, I'm right here, just ask me, and we can work through them together."
"I need you to practice your public speaking presentation. We can go over it together now, I have some time to give you feedback if that will help you feel more confident."

The Power of Using Clear Communication to Say What You Need to Say

Releasing resentments involves more than just expressing your expectations., it's about expressing feelings and needs that are attached to those expectations in a clear and respectful manner. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) principles offer a simple yet highly effective way of find the Power WITH in your communication that can help in expressing your expectations clearly:

Say what you See - Before jumping into a discussion, take a moment to understand the bigger picture. Look at what’s happening now and what’s led up to the issue.
Identify your Feelings - After you have the facts, check in with your emotions. Use phrases like “I feel…” to recognize and name the feelings that come up when you think about the situation.
Identify your Needs - Dig a little deeper to figure out what you need—whether it’s cooperation, reassurance, understanding, or support. Knowing your needs helps you communicate your expectations more clearly.
Make a Clear Request - Keep in mind how different communication styles affect your relationship. Approach the conversation from a place of Power WITH by clearly stating what you see, how it makes you feel, and what you need. Be open to your child's feedback and be ready to adjust your expectations if needed.

This approach builds trust, shows respect, and helps prevent lingering resentments.

Clear Communication has the Power to Turn Unspoken Expectations into Stronger Connections

The importance of clear and honest communication in our relationships, especially with our children is a pathway towards stronger connections. By openly expressing our needs and feelings, we prevent misunderstandings and build a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

When we take the time to honour ourselves and our children, choose to communicate with empathy and clarity, and address current issues in the spirit of fostering a more positive and supportive environment, resentments have not room to grow.

My hope is that we all recognise our expectations as valid needs, and our resentments as opportunities to communicate those needs.

May you find your voice and use it to create more peace, love and collaboration in your family and community.

Validate to Open the Gate - How to Step into Empathy

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Thu, 01 Aug 2024 04:02:08 GMT

"What needs to be known will be shown."

My mentor said this to me in a coaching session once, and it has been a line I've anchored into whenever I'm in the role of teaching emotion coaching or space of being an emotion coach for a client or my children.

As parents, one of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to validate our children’s emotions. Validating emotions comes before acknowledging how our children feel and really opens the gate for allowing the feeling to be felt and understood. Starting with validation helps our children feel seen and supported, making it easier for them to process their feelings and find a way forward.

Why Validation Matters

Before we learn how to validate another's experience or feelings, it's important that we understand why we're doing it and what purpose it serves. Validation is a bridge towards empathy or brain building bridge that takes us out of our limbic brain (the fight/flight/freeze) to the logical brain(figure it out). This is so important to understand because without access to our logical brain, we are stuck in survival modes of defensiveness, helplessness or powerlessness. Validation is a way to show our children that their experience is real through our acknowledgement of it. When the emotional experience is seen as a legitimate experience being witnessed by another, the brain and body can step up from confusion into curiosity.

The NURSE Acronym: A Practical Guide to Validation

I recently watched a video that shared a powerful step by step framework for validation and I want to break that down for you here.

Knowing how to validate our children is easier with this NURSE acronym. I'll break it down and then give some practical examples of how you can apply it your day-to-day emotion coaching as a parent.

N - Name the Emotion

This is the basic and first step towards validating an emotion. See it and then Name it. This does require your presence and attention. Observe your child's non verbal and verbal language - their body language, facial expressions, sighs and grunts, words and statements. Have a guess at what you are seeing so your child has room to confirm or correct your guess. Your guess keeps the conversation open and collaborative, and your validation helps them understand and label their emotions, the first step towards managing them.

Examples:

“It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated with your homework right now.”
“It seems that you’re feeling disappointed about not going to the park.”
"It looks like you're confused about what to wear today."
"I get the sense that you're worried about how your father is going to react."

U - Understand the Driver

Dig deeper into why your child might be feeling this way. Look for clues in their behaviour or situation to understand the root of their emotions.
Picking up on their cues and getting clear on the context helps you connect with your child’s experience and shows that you are genuinely trying to understand their feelings.

Examples:

“I can imagine how tough it must have been when your friend didn’t come to your birthday party. You probably felt really let down because you were looking forward to it.”
“It seems like you’re feeling overwhelmed because of all the activities you have this week. That sounds like a lot to manage.”

R - Respect, Praise, and Appreciation

Acknowledge and appreciate your child’s willingness to express their feelings. This positive reinforcement encourages them to continue sharing their emotions with you. Focus on the courage it takes to share vulnerable feelings. The more specific and personal you make your appreciation, the more your child will want to do what you are thanking them for.

Examples:

“Thank you for telling me how you’re feeling. It’s really brave of you to talk about it.”
“I’m proud of you for expressing your feelings. It shows you’re growing and learning how to manage your emotions.”
"I appreciate you coming to me with this big secret, it's not easy to carry it all by yourself and I feel honoured to be the one you trust. I feel energised and confident that I can support you through this."
“Thank you for being so open about how you’re feeling. Your willingness to discuss this is a huge step forward in working through it.”
“I admire how you’re reflecting on your emotions and trying to understand them better. It’s inspiring to see your commitment.”

S - Supportive Statements

Offer encouragement and show that you’re there to support them. Reassurance helps your child feel less alone in their emotional experience.

Examples:

“I hear you, and I know it’s hard right now. We’ll figure this out together.”
“I believe in you. It’s okay to feel this way, and we can find a way to make things better.”
“I hear you, and it’s completely understandable to feel this way. We’ll work through this together.”
“You’re doing great by expressing how you feel. Let’s find a way to address this together.”

E - Explore

Once you’ve validated their feelings, you can now invite and encourage them to explore their emotions more deeply. This is where you can become an emotion coach for your child, supporting them to gain even more clarity and find solutions together.

Examples:

“Can you tell me more about what upset you today?”
“What do you think would help you feel better right now?”
“Can you tell me more about what was going through your mind when that happened?”
“What do you think contributed to your reaction? Let’s explore what might help you feel better.”
"What was that like for you?"
"How did it feel when everyone was staring at you?"
"Tell more more"
"Go on"
"Can you say more?"

Validating our children's emotions

When we know how to see what is important in our relationships, we can better understand what is truly being shown to us. As my mentor said, "What needs to be known, will be shown." A profound insight that can be a guide to using the NURSE acronym in validating and empathising with our children. By using one, some or even all of these steps, you can start building the foundation of a supportive environment in which your children can feel seen, safe and soothed in their emotional experiences. This has a long term benefit of emotional intelligence and emotional resiliency. The effectiveness of empathy is in the ongoing effort and practice of these steps. Validation needs to happen regularly - children will give you many opportunities to practice - for the bridge to be built from limbic to logical. Our children need our support to develop this skill.

To Open the Gate, Validate.

I hope this blog helps you in the practice of validation and empathy. The video series that inspired this blog has been a game-changer for me, my family, clients and students. I would love to hear your thoughts, reflections and feedback about — whether you find it inspiring or helpful, and especially if you have tried it out and had an experience that made you feel confident to keep practicing.

So, let’s validate to open the gate and build bridges of understanding, one emotion at a time.

Behave or Be Brave?

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Sun, 02 Apr 2023 03:26:11 GMT

"There is nothing wrong with my daughter. She doesn't need to be fixed. She needs to be supported."

At the end of a session, I asked a parent what she will be taking with her from the session, and that was her response. She said it with a smile on her face, relief in her body and gratitude for being able to see her daughter beyond her own fears.

Our brains and bodies are designed for survival, they're built to detect threat and keep us safe from harm. Our brain instinctively knows how to behave in the presence of danger, and it communicates that to our bodies, calling for us to be brave if necessary.

Sometimes though, the danger is not real.

Parents have a very special danger detector when it comes to their children. This danger detector senses when our child needs us and calls us to show up for our child. Mama Bear and Papa Penguin emerge in the face of any threat to their child, and a parent can be brave despite the threat.

Sometimes though, the threat is not real.

Don't get me wrong, the danger or threat can feel very real. Our brain and body have been trained from our formation to survive. We fall into patterns of behaving or being brave to manage these situations.

What happens when we live in a community, culture, country, or world that is confused and conflicted about what is real danger and threat to our survival?

1. When you get a phone call from school requesting a meeting to put a behavioral plan in place for your 4-year-old.

2. When the teacher calls to express concern about your 2-year-old who is 'antisocial.'

3. When your tween messes up, makes a bad choice, tells a lie or yells at you.

Parents worry. They're afraid. They sense danger. The concern, fear and threat are not only for their children, but for themselves too.

It's easy to fall into the trap of behaving - which as parents could look like reactive measures to deal with the signal of threat. When we are focused on behavior, we react.

1. Meet with the school and put a behavioral plan in place, punish the child for their behavior by taking away their devices or lecturing the child on what bad/disruptive behavior is and why they shouldn't be doing it.

2. Book your child in for play therapy, occupational therapy or arrange more playdates.

3. Yell, punish or lecture your child on their attitude.

Many of us have been conditioned to behave, fit into societies boxes, and comply with the standard expectations of behavior in a community, cultural or countries systems.

There are, whether we want to admit it or not, systems that enslave us when they try to control how we behave. The definition of enslave according to Oxford Languages is to cause someone to lose their freedom of choice or action.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, enslave is to control someone's actions, thoughts, emotions, or life completely.

School systems.

Religious systems.

Family systems.

Cultural systems.

Legal Systems.

We live in and under these systems. We are guided and to a certain extent controlled by these systems. These systems have their purpose and place in our lives and development, however, there are 3 core mistakes we tend to make when looking only at the behavior:

The first is that we see the behavior as being intentional, as in 'My child is choosing to be naughty/disruptive/loud.'

The second is that we take a 'one-size-fits-all' approach to dealing with the behavior, as in 'My child needs to be punished/needs to be diagnosed/ needs to learn a lesson.'

Finally, and this is where education is super important, we lack the fundamental knowledge and understanding of human development.

We are taught from a very young age, through different messages, lessons, and modelling, how we are supposed to behave. What good behavior looks and sounds like. We are acknowledged, praised, and rewarded for good behavior.

Parents who raised well behaved children are complimented, admired, respected by other parents, grandparents, friends, schoolteachers, community leaders, sports coaches etc.

So, what about bravery? Who needs to be brave when they know how to behave?

We all do!

Bravery allows us to discern between real and perceived danger. The dictionary definition of bravery is having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty.

Inviting parents and children to be brave isn't easy, especially in the times we're living in. When the systems that are supposed to be leading, guiding, educating, and liberating us are in fact enslaving us.

Cultivating awareness of what's truly happening inside of you - inside your brain, your heart, and your body is an act of bravery. Getting curious, gaining understanding of and compassion for your fears is an act of bravery. When we can be brave, we respond instead of reacting.

1. Meet with the school and try to understand why our child is struggling to concentrate, participate or listen in class. We ask questions, we share observations and look at the environment.

2. We schedule more 1:1 time with our children. We work on creating a safe and secure relationship within the family that will be the foundation for their relationships outside.

3. We slow down, get curious and listen. We connect with our child and let them know that we care, we're there for them and want to help.

So back to the question of whether to Behave or Be Brave?

Both are important and have their value. As a parent, I aim to nurture and encourage bravery as the foundation of my children's behavior.

As a parent coach, my goal is to educate and illuminate bravery as the platform from which parents choose to parent their children.

Bravery is being able to say and believe that; "There is nothing wrong with my child."

As my client said a few days after our session, "It's reassuring to know that my child's behaviour makes sense in the grand scheme of things."

"Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others." - Aristotle

Do you need a bravery boost? Are you ready to be the brave parent your child needs?

Book your free discovery call with me today! Let your Mama Bear or Papa Penguin step up.

Permission to Parent

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Wed, 01 Mar 2023 11:20:09 GMT

"Honestly, it’s given me the permission to be the parent I wanted to be, but was always scared to be" said a full-time dad in one of my group coaching calls. He went on to share, "I feel so relieved by the science and its ability to support how I felt all along. "

In a group of 16 parents, 15 other heads nodded in agreement as this dad shared his greatest takeaways from our fifth session together discussing Nervous System Science.

As a facilitator of The Transformational Parenting Process, my heart swelled with joy for the newfound freedom this parent found within himself. My mind was hyper focused on the word he used to get to this freedom: PERMISSION. My hands were itching to get researching and writing on this subject to make sense of it.

According to the online etymology dictionary, Permission is the act of allowing.

As a noun, the word permission is NAMING the thing that we are allowing ourselves to be done with, to let go of, to give up or hand over. In seeking permission, we're effectively seeking safety to let go of what is keeping us from doing what we would like to do, being who we want to be or saying what we need to say.

Isn't it fascinating to think that as parents, we are still seeking permission to parent in a way we want to? Permission to raise our children in a way that feels aligned to our personal values, a way that feels good and right in our bodies and brains.

It makes sense when you really think about it.

Parents are seeking permission in the sea of societal expectations, cultural conditioning, professional prescriptions and, in the streams of endless information coming from books, blogs, podcasts, webinars and courses.

What they're really seeking is safety, assurance, and validation that they're on the right path.

It's as though as parents, we haven’t outgrown the inner child who was conditioned to ask for permission from parents, teachers, grandparents, peers, and every other authority figure in our lives. As children, we received the messaging that we didn't know what was good for us, that our parents or teachers were in charge and called all the shots.

'As long as you live under my roof, you will do as I say!'

'Listen to your teacher!'

'Who gave you permission to go to that party!?'

Finding ourselves standing in the shoes of being a parent with what is most likely the greatest responsibility of our lives - raising and guiding another human being into maturity - we are still looking to our parents, teachers, experts, doctors, friends with older children, books, podcasts, parenting courses and therapists for PERMISSION to parent the right way.

What is the right way I wonder?

This dad answered the question for me.

The right way is the way you want to parent.

Instead of:

- Always questioning whether you're doing it right.

- Feeling hopeless for not being the 'perfect' parent.

- Feeling lost and confused about everything you're experiencing as new parent.

- Frustrated by a child you just don't understand.

- Thinking there's something wrong with you, your child or your family.

What if:

- You learned about yourself in way that helped you make sense of you?

- You learned about attachment, brain and nervous system science in a way that helped you understand yourself and your child's development better?

- You consciously set an intention for the parent you want to be for your children?

- You learned practical strategies to challenging situations in parenting? Strategies you adapt to your unique child and situation.

- You could confidently connect with your child?

I'll let the dad who inspired this deep dive into the question of permission give you the answer.

"I loved learning about nervous system science because I felt like it was a 'name it and tame it' moment for me. Understanding how behaviors are a form of communication has shifted my entire view of my world at home. Now only 5 weeks into this process, parenting is more joyful and less stressful."

Is it within the realm of possibility for you to give yourself permission to parent the way you want to?

I believe it is.

"When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone." - Nina O'Neill & George O'Neill

Are you ready to take charge of your life? Ready to own your parenting style with confidence, creativity and curiosity?

Book your free discovery call with me today! You need only grant yourself permission to take the next step.

Starting With My Why

delicia@gobeyondparenthood.com (Delicia Moraleda) — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 11:18:55 GMT

If you've ever spent time with a toddler, you've probably tried to answer a string of successive 'Why?' questions and left that encounter feeling exhausted - am I right?

Children are curious beings.

As the founder and director of a Montessori Preschool, I dived into the curiosity pool with my students everyday.

I would splash in their world of wondering and find myself swimming from one lesson to another. Engaged, connected and energised by our learning and growing together.

I discovered that I was a curious being too, and I was way beyond my toddler years when I revisited my toddler phase of asking, 'Why?'

The difference between my toddler Why? phase and my adult Why? phase, is that I directed my Why questions inward instead.

If you're here, then I imagine you're curious about a few things pertaining to parent coaching and who I am as a parent coach. That makes sense to me, and I'm so happy that you are here.

Starting With My Why

Why did I choose a Montessori Teaching Qualification?

To prepare myself for parenting. That's right! I had been married for a year, and my husband and I had started discussing our dreams for starting a family. I quickly put our dream on hold as I insisted that I first needed to educate myself on raising a child with intention. I had years of experience with babysitting, and I even took a Gap Year to be an Au Pair for a family with 3 children under the age of 3 - so I had an idea of what taking care of children entailed. I was patient, energetic, adventurous and young. That wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be prepared. So I found a Montessori Teacher training course and signed up. The Montessori philosophy is rooted in respect for the child and nurtures their unique and natural desire for understanding the real world around them. Montessori approached child development with a holistic view, this was most appealing to me.

Why Did I Become A Teacher?

Half way through my part-time teacher training, I resigned from my full time job and enrolled as a full time student. I was fascinated by what I was learning, and I saw my passion and purpose come into clearer view as I progressed through a child's stages of development. I wanted to be a Montessori Teacher because I wanted to give children the experience of feeling respected and appreciated for who they were.

I wanted children to love school, and for school to feel like an extension of the home.

I wanted to provide an experience of school that I only remember enjoying with a select few teachers.

Why Did I Open A Montessori Preschool?

Our dream finally came true and I found out I was pregnant with our first son while I was teaching at a Montessori school. I worked throughout my pregnancy and loved the environment I was working in. I was fortunate enough to have the choice to stay home with my baby and be his full time mom for his first year of life. In that time, I knew that I wanted to spend more time with my son, and I also knew that I wanted to get back into the classroom.

My husband made my dream come true by finding a property we could develop into our very own school. I opened the school to create my version of that home away from home school environment. I created a school for my son and his friends to feel at home in. I created an environment where parents could feel welcome too, secure in the knowledge that their child was in loving hands.

I wanted a school that was overflowing with opportunities to explore and experiment, play and participate in activities that were developmentally directed to each stage of a child's growth. I dedicated 9 years to making this vision a reality,

Why Did I Become A Parent Coach?

I was forced out of the classroom in 2020 due to the COVID19 pandemic, which resulted in my preschool being closed for 4 months. During that time, I came to build deeper relationships with the parents of my students,

as they became a part of my 'homeschooling teaching staff.' As I prepared take home activity bags, recorded video lessons and shared lesson plans with parents, it became clear to me that the joy of learning was waning. Overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted, parents were trying to balance working from home, teaching their children and managing their own mental health. As I listened to parents, I realised that I wanted to support parents better, so that they could be the support their children needed.

I believe that a parent is their child's first teacher. I know that children look up to their parents as the model for how to live and be.

As beautiful as my school environment was, as passionate as I was about making my lessons interesting and developmentally appropriate, as much as I thought of each child as my own and loved them as such - each child still went home to a parent they adored even more.

I became a parent coach because I want parents to feel engaged, connected and energised in their parenting experience.

I became a parent coach because I believe that children deserve to feel confident in the knowledge of their parents love and understanding of who they are and what they need.

I became a parent coach because I believe that parenting requires preparation.

I've spent many years with toddlers who ask 'Why?' and I've enjoyed every sparkly eyed question, secure in my knowing the reasons behind the questions. I love wading through the curiosity pool with my snorkel and mask on, as a witness to a young child's discoveries.

As a parent coach, I've become the curious toddler, asking parents 'Why?' as we dip our toe into the wide and wonderful ocean of empowered, intentional parenting.

"Success comes when we wake up every day in that never-ending pursuit of WHY we do WHAT we do." - Simon Sinek

As parents, our children's success comes from our clarity of WHY we choose to parent the way we do.

delicia

What am I supposed to do when...?

“Grief seems to create losses within us that reach beyond our awareness -

we feel as if we're missing something that was invisible and unknown to us while we had it, but is now painfully gone.” — Brené Brown, Rising Strong

“You can be both healing from your past and hopeful for your future -

your heart is allowed to hold grief and joy in the same breath,

learning to dance between pain and possibility.” — Balt Rodriguez

What am I supposed to do when…?

The Work Works When You Work It

“Transformation is not a future event. It' is a present activity.” — Jillian Michaels

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do.” — Brené Brown

“To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” — Barbara Johnson

The Way a Baby Listens: A Lesson in Presence for Parents

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” — Ralph G. Nichols

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” — Mark Nepo

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force... When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” — Brenda Ueland

Halfway There: Proofs, Procrastination, and the Parenthood Puzzle

“A perfect method for adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large” — Alyce Coryn-Selby

Book Progress Update - Month Two

“Healthy striving is self-focused: 'How can I improve?' Perfectionism is other-focused: 'What will they think?'” — Brené Brown

Behind the Scenes of Becoming an Author

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” — Nelson Mandela

New Year and Your Nervous System

Scanning for safety, Lighthouse shines when danger calls, Anchor in the body.

Scanning for Safety: The Nervous System's First Job

"The nervous system and the automatic machine are fundamentally alike in that they are devices, which make decisions on the basis of decisions they made in the past.." - Norbert Wiener

The Lighthouse: A Signal for Danger

"Is the beam from a lighthouse affected by howling wind and rain? It remains perfectly steadfast and unaffected by the storm. Your true self is like that. Nothing can ever harm you once you are consciously aware that it is so." - Vernon Howard

Anchor in the Body: Finding Calm in the Chaos

"Slow breathing is like an anchor in the midst of an emotional storm: the anchor won't make the storm go away but it will hold you steady until it passes." - Russ Harris

Listening to Your Environment's Cues

"Regulation of the nervous system is an act of self-compassion that reverberates through every area of our lives." - Diane Poole Heller

Parenting from a Place of Awareness

"Only when we are in a calm physiological state can we convey cues of safety to another." - Stephen W. Porges

Love Languages and Loving Yourself as a Parent: A Birthday Reflection

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."

Oprah Winfrey

Meeting My Ego: A Surreal and Surprising Encounter

"The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it." Carl Jung

The Power of Parental Intuition: Trusting Your Gut to Keep Your Children Safe

"Intuition is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect, in my opinion." Steve Jobs

Tips to Strengthen Your Intuition

"The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, the happier you become." Giselle Bundchen

"But Mum" sounds like " BUM: Turning Parenting Frustrations into Playful Moments

The Power of Playfulness

Playful Parenting Tips

The Nervous System Secret about Play

From Frustration to Fun: You Get to Choose

Boundaries Communicate Safety: A Guide to Confident Parenting

Boundaries Communicate Safety

Put The Boundary in a Sandwich

Reflect to Connect

Cultivating Connection Culture - A Personal Story of Connection Through Dance

A Dance to Shift the Energy

Cultivating Connection CHALLENGE

Reflect to Connect

Say What You Need To Say: Releasing Resentments in Parent-Child Relationships.

Using Your Words - Communication is a Behaviour

How Do You Say What You Need To Say?

The Power of Using Clear Communication to Say What You Need to Say

Clear Communication has the Power to Turn Unspoken Expectations into Stronger Connections

Validate to Open the Gate - How to Step into Empathy

Why Validation Matters

The NURSE Acronym: A Practical Guide to Validation

Validating our children's emotions

To Open the Gate, Validate.

Behave or Be Brave?

Permission to Parent

Starting With My Why

If you've ever spent time with a toddler, you've probably tried to answer a string of successive 'Why?' questions and left that encounter feeling exhausted - am I right?

we feel as if we're missing something that was invisible and unknown to us while we had it, but is now painfully gone.”
— Brené Brown, Rising Strong

learning to dance between pain and possibility.”
— Balt Rodriguez

“Transformation is not a future event. It' is a present activity.”
— Jillian Michaels

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do.”
— Brené Brown

“To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.”
— Barbara Johnson

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
— Ralph G. Nichols

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”
— Mark Nepo

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force... When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
— Brenda Ueland

“A perfect method for adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large”
— Alyce Coryn-Selby

“Healthy striving is self-focused: 'How can I improve?' Perfectionism is other-focused: 'What will they think?'”
— Brené Brown

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
— Nelson Mandela

Scanning for safety,
Lighthouse shines when danger calls,
Anchor in the body.