The Way a Baby Listens: A Lesson in Presence for Parents

I want my child to feel me delighting in their presence - at least once a day.

There's so much we can learn about true, active listening - not from books or courses - but from babies.

Their presence, their gaze, their curiosity - it's all a form of deep, attuned listening.

What Babies Teach Us About Listening

The way a baby watches you when you're doing something is a pure, instinctual act of listening intently. They aren't distracted or multitasking. They're fully present - locked into your face, your voice, your movements.

Babies need to see you to understand, to feel safe, to feel connected.

They don't compare. They don't judge. They don't interrupt.

Not because they've mastered mindfulness, but because they're wired for connection - they receive the world through their senses, moment by moment.

Their listening is expressed through presence.

Through wide-open eyes and still bodies.

They're saying with their whole being:

"I'm here. I'm with you. I'm learning who you are."

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
— Ralph G. Nichols

Listening from the Heart

If we can slow ourselves down enough, we can listen this way too.

By settling into our heart space - into a place of love and presence - we can listen with curiosity and empathy. Not with urgency or analysis, but with the simple intention to create safety in our conversation.

You don't have to get it perfect.

You don't have to respond to every word.

You just have to see the moment - and when you have the capacity - lean in.

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”
— Mark Nepo

A Personal Reminder

Sharing pictures of both my sons as babies recently brough back that feeling - the one many parents describe when they first meet their baby:

"You are my world. You don't need to do anything for me to love you."

That feeling is the listening compass I lean into.

Each day, i hope a quiet intention:

I want my children to feel me delighting in their presence - at least once a day.

It's not about listening to my children, all the time, all at once. That's not possible or sustainable.

Instead, it's about noticing and taking the small moments.

The bids for connection.

And choosing to lean in whenever and wherever I can.

You Can Do it Too

This week, why not try to capture and savour the tiny moments?

You can:

- Listen to their funny sayings.

- Listen to the way they mispronounce a word.

- Delight in the intensity with which they tell a story.

- Delight in the look on their face when they're proud to share something.

Let yourself listen and be delighted in them. Let them feel your eyes, your smile, your presence - your listening.

Active Listening Can Be Playful

The practice of Active Listening doesn't have to feel heavy or technical. It can actually be fun - if we choose to see it as an opportunity for playful connection.

It's really just a practice in presence.

You are learning to listen to your child, and maybe more importantly, to yourself - to know when you have the capacity to lean in, and when you need to pause.

And that's enough.

For Now...

We'll look at Reflection in another blog.

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force... When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
— Brenda Ueland